Rarely do we here at Rewatchability.com get political, but when certain injustices occur, we consider it our responsibility, nay our duty, to take the time out of our busy schedules discussing stupid old movies and TV shows, to make our voices heard. We are, of course, talking about Lego.

According to a report by CTV, an ailing 63-year-old man and his grown-up daughter recently made the three-hour trek from Windsor to Vaughn (just outside Toronto) in order to visit the relatively new Legoland Discovery Center. The man, John St-Onge, had grown fond of Lego having played with it with his kids when they were children. St-Onge who is battling both cancer and diabetes, and recently underwent heart surgery, journeyed to the only Canadian iteration of Legoland, and enjoyed a fun, nostalgic trip down memory la– oh no, wait they didn’t let him in.

You see, this particular Legoland exercises a sort-of reverse R-Rated movie policy: adults not accompanied by children are strictly forbidden. So John St-Onge and his daughter were not allowed in, refused their requests to see the manager, and sent back to Windsor, presumably while the employees of Legoland waved goodbye and yelled, “See ya, good luck with the cancer!”*

* We’re paraphrasing here.

Their website does note “Adults must be accompanied by a child to visit the LEGOLAND Discovery Centre” in relatively small print, understandably overlooked by St-Onge and his daughter. While most of the attractions seem geared towards children, there are still exhibits such as a model of downtown Toronto built entirely in Lego, which would clearly be enjoyed more by adults.

cityhall

You can almost see the crack smoke wafting out of Lego City Hall.

Of course, we love Lego too, and would love to visit Legoland– but all of this raises the question: “Who is Lego for?” Of course, the obvious answer is: “It’s for children– it’s a fucking toy, why can’t the twenty-somethings of this world grow-up and stop placing such importance on toys, retro video-games and movies from the ’80s?” (Side Note: new episode of Rewatchability coming this Thursday). Our grandparents didn’t have to worry about whether or not they could get into Legoland, they were busy fighting World War II. And when they were back from that, they were raising families, and working jobs they hated.

Of course, Lego is for kids, right? It’s not like they’re releasing Lego sets aimed directly at adults in order to capitalize on their nostalgia for both Lego and the movies of their youth–

back

Oh… Nevermind.

It seems this summer Lego will be releasing a Back to the Future set, with a price tag of around fifty bucks. This is clearly made for so-called adults with disposable incomes and a lack of real world responsibility. It is also clearly amazing. In addition to Back to the Future, there are Lego sets for the original Star Wars trilogy, Ninja Turtles, and the like– In fact, we will probably see more and more children being born to legitimize their parents’ purchasing these products. Think of it like our generation’s Baby Boom, but instead of the end of a war, everyone will procreate in order to sustain their toy consumption without seeming odd.

Clearly then Lego is not just a product for children, it is for everyone, including people who grew-up with it, and who played Lego with their kids. Why then does the Legoland Discovery Centre not simply advise adults that the contents of the centre is mainly for kids, and let them make up their own minds? Oh yeah, creeps. They don’t want creeps there.

Has this been a big problem at other Legolands? Creepy child-less adults behaving inappropriately? Other family-oriented attractions such as the Zoo and the Science Centre don’t seem to have problems admitting adults. Instituting this policy makes it seem as though Legoland would be a hotbed of pedophiles and psychos if it weren’t for this rule– and why would anyone want to bring their family to a place that, save for one flimsy rule, would be full of creeps?

Of course, Legoland has tried to appease everyone by offering a once-a-month “Adults-Only” night. Could anything sound creepier than that? Based on the name, I just picture the Eyes Wide Shut party, but with more Lego. Or people disassembling the Lego Hogwarts and fashioning a giant Lego penis out of the pieces. And “Adults-Only” night didn’t help John St-Onge, who was cast aside like Megablok piece. Until the day when they make Legoland available to everyone during regular hours, adults wishing to visit the attraction will have to continue to do what they’ve always done– ask teenagers to buy tickets for them, then buy them beer in return.

We’re not just outraged as people who love Lego, we’re outraged as Torontonians. We want to go to Legoland, and on a day when the words “adults-only” aren’t involved. Until that day, we’ll have to be satisfied staying at home, playing with our new DeLoreans.